Yesterday, I learned that my dear friend Sandra, one of my favorite clients passed away, LAST YEAR.

The most devastating part is that I had no idea. She has been my client since 2013, the very start of my career as a Hairstylist, and from the time she sat in my chair, I fell in love with her.

I loved her spirit. She was such a bright light. She was my support person. She was very spiritual. She was my family.

And hearing that she is no longer with me on this Earth is truly devastating. For the privacy of the life she had and respect for her family, I won’t post her beautiful face.

But I’ll share her beautiful natural hair we silk pressed for the first time, with a fresh color for the fall that year.

Hairstylists and Clients Become Very Close

The best thing I loved about being a hairstylist was the connection I built with my clients. While some come and go, there are special clients who stay around not only because you are a great hairstylist, but because the bond that is formed between the two is very special.

When clients sit in your chair, we hairstylists become therapists. Clients share the most intimate things with us that we hold dear to our hearts. What me and Sandra shared was very beautiful. There were times when she became my therapist, my mentor, my mom, and my sister all at once.

She gave the best advice. She was one of my cheerleaders. She supported me in anything I threw at her. Even when I told her I was retiring.

When she vented to me about her family, her husband, her beautiful daughters, and their adventures in life, I smiled. We laughed and cried together on so many occasions.

When Clients Become Like Family

Sometimes, it takes a while before you can consider a client like your family. But for me and Sandra, it was almost instant. Before I met her, she was a complete stranger. After the end of our first appointment, I knew she was special.

Being that I hopped from one salon to another, Sandra followed me everywhere I went. It was easy for her because she loved me so much, and I loved her the same. It was our thing to critique each salon I worked in and see how long I would stay. And that was based on the vibe of the salon and my natural free-spirited vibe.

She knew me so well. She knew how I would think about something specific. And there were times when she gave me advice before I asked her anything. That’s how close we were. And why I considered her my family.

What To Do When You Lose A Client To Death

Being that this is so fresh right now, I have no advice on what to do when your client passes away. I’m still in shock. I want to cry. And I can’t imagine how life is going to be for me knowing I’ll never see or hear from her again.

She was my rock. And to lose that is heavy on my heart.

And the way I found out made me initially feel guilty. Sandra is a very private person. So when others tag her in posts on Facebook, she would have to approve for it to appear on her and her friend’s timeline.

I didn’t know anything until I saw her sister’s profile with Sandra’s picture as her profile and cover image. And we all know that’s not a good sign.

I went to Sandra’s page, her sister’s, and her brother’s profile to see if I could find anything about Sandra. And to learn that she passed away a whole year ago was gut-wrenching.

How To Honor Your Client’s Memories

I think it’s important to honor those you love who are no longer here in the physical world. That being said, I went back to last year in my photos to see what was going on during the time of Sandra’s passing.

And oh boy, I remember that time was very depressing. I was in the middle of combing my locs out. Yes, I was that depressed and over things in life.

I combed out the first row on the left side of my head, by my ear. Once I combed them out, I realized I didn’t want to comb out the rest. So I took out some clippers and shaved it.

And over time, I allowed the hair to grow back.

Now saying, this Sandra and I had yet another thing in common. We both had locs during the final years of her life. Except, she had her sides and back shaved and the top was long, gray locs.

So last night, I decided to honor her by calling my short locs that were combed out and shaved a year ago, Sandra’s locs. Now, they are three small locs that are growing beautifully and I treat them with extra care.

That’s how I am honoring my friend.

Things I’ll Always Remember About Sandra

She loved to laugh. She thought I was so funny. I’ll always remember how we would cut up and kee-kee-kee about everything.

She was my spiritual sister. We loved talking about God, the Bible, and how we focus on having a spiritual connection with God.

She loved her family. I would always ask about her family. When I first became her stylist, I also did her mom’s hair and her niece’s hair. Everyone was so sweet. I loved her entire family, and still do.

She always put others first. When it came to her family, she always put her needs last and catered to theirs. I admired that about her. But I was also proud of her during her final years, she said she was finally going to put Sandra first.

Things I Regret

I hate not knowing about her passing. Even though I didn’t have any control over that. I just didn’t know. I wasn’t connected with her other family members on Facebook so I didn’t see any information about her passing.

So I hate not being there for her final moments. I hate that I didn’t have a chance to say goodbye.

I hate that I found out an entire year later. At first, I was hoping that in the spirit world, she wouldn’t hate me for not being there. I just hope she knows now that I didn’t know at the time.

What I Would Say To Her Right Now

Sandra, I miss you so much right now. I can’t believe that you are gone and I wish that I could just hug you and love on you for the very last time. As I cry while typing this, I want you to know how much you mean to me.

You were there through so much in my life. You supported me during the very lows and highs in my life. You celebrated my birthday and my daughter’s birthday. You prayed for me always. You guided me. You were my light.

Your spirit touched my soul and I’ll never forget that. And now, I must honor you by doing the same.

You always told me to go out and share my light with others. Share my knowledge with others, and teach people all about haircare. And I’m doing that. Even though I’m not a hairstylist anymore, you saw my talent and my knowledge that everyone should experience.

Sandra, I dedicate this website to you. I vow and promise to share my expertise of 11 years with women who are just as curious as you were. You loved asking me questions about hair, and I loved sharing things with you.

I swear I promise to keep making you proud. I love you so much and I’m so blessed to have another angel looking out for me in heaven.

I hope you are sleeping peacefully.

Until I see you again,

– Ash ❤️